Building Trust in an Uncertain World
“Beware of anyone who says they know. Trust me, they don't, or they wouldn't have to say they did.”
~ Harvey Fierstein
Certain phrases that appear in conversation always set off alarm bells in my mind. When I have been speaking to someone for a while and they say, “Well, to be honest…,” I can’t help but wonder if they were being dishonest up until that point in the exchange. Similarly, I hesitate to trust anyone who feels the need to say, “Trust me.”
In 3 Ways to Spot an Impostor, I cautioned against relying on individuals who might be trying too hard to appear trustworthy or who speak with unwavering certainty. Paradoxically, you may be better off trusting someone who openly and humbly owns up to their imperfections and past mistakes. Margot Bloomstein, in her book Trustworthy, explores the notion that businesses can “grow stronger by owning their mistakes and embracing vulnerability.” She advocates for the power of authenticity. Striving to be authentic reminds me of a famous quote from George Burns, who said, “The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that you've got it made.”
This presents a dilemma. If numerous professionals are feigning sincerity and meticulously constructing an image of trustworthiness, how can conscientious consumers discern whom to trust?
In reading Trustworthy, I've gained insights not only into vulnerability but also into the positive long-term effects of consistency, sharing transparently, and avoiding unnecessary babbling. OK, there is no time like the present to be vulnerable and confess that brevity has never been my strongest suit. Even as I reread the lines above, I must admit that I am far from Hemingway in linguistic efficiency. I confess that I can get a bit wordy and a touch flowery in my use of the language (I can hear my wife’s voice asking, “Who talks like that?!).
If I can balance the equation with a redeeming quality, it's perhaps my ability and willingness to share. Sharing can mean many things, but here, I view it as akin to "showing my work.” If someone wants to be more confident in the financial projections that I have presented, all I need to do is show them the logic that got me there. I am always happy to give someone a peek behind the curtain and explain every assumption used in designing their plan as well as all of the calculations that produced the potential results.
Less tangibly, I consider writing like this a means of sharing my methods. Over the years, this platform has served as a space for individuals to delve into the methodologies and philosophies underpinning our work at Upleft. I've always believed in understanding two crucial aspects of a person I entrust with important tasks: how they think and, more fundamentally, whether they think at all. Life has convinced me that the second criterion will eliminate many people from consideration for an important job. Thinking isn't merely regurgitating information or following established protocols; it's about absorbing and processing new information, adapting plans as circumstances evolve, and interpreting the shifting world around us.
I suppose that in engaging in this type of sharing, I am taking a risk. After all, it is inevitable that some people simply will not like the way I think or how I express it. I am comfortable with that. If you want help, but not the way I offer help, I am confident that there is someone else willing to provide it. If what I write here resonates with you...maybe go back to the Upleft Logbook and read some more. If you're still inclined to seek guidance from a mind like mine, I'd be delighted to hear from you. I’ll try my best to keep it brief, but that’s no guarantee.